LOVE THAT LASTS

This week Thursday will be Valentine's Day. Love will be in the air and then after that will go back to our normal routines. Many especially ladies will wish that this could continue for the rest of the year but we all know that life happens. So how can we stay in love?

Before answering that question, its important to note that there are three kinds of love, agape love which is the unconditional love, eros love which is sexual, romantic and feeling love and phileo which is the friendship love. What many of us will be experiencing during this Valentine is eros, that sexual, romantic love that elicits those good feelings of love.  That’s what attracts us to each other and we hope that it can be sustained forever. Phileo love is great for couples because it is important for you as a couple to have common interests. You must be friends, Grace always advises young people that if you want to get married, make sure you marry a friend. Don’t just get hitched to someone you love but more importantly to someone you like.

Phileo and eros love are more responsive in nature and can ebb and flo based upon feelings. Agape love on the other hand is selfless and unconditional. It is what you meant when you said “I do”. It is only by agaping each other that love will last a lifetime. The truth is, if your reason for loving your spouse all have something to do with his/her qualities, what happens when those qualities suddenly or gradually disappear? Your basis for love is over. Love should not be determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.

Both friendship and sex have an important place in marriage, but if your marriage totally depends on having a common interest (friendship) or enjoying a healthy sex and a romantic relationship, then the foundation of your relationship is unstable. It is like the house Jesus talked of in the Bible that was built on sand. When the rains, wind and storms came, the house fell while the one built on the solid rock remained standing. Both houses were probably built the same way, looked the same but what was different was their foundations. Your marriage must be built on agape love, that unconditional love that will stand even if conditions change.

“When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way”

                                                                                        – THE LOVE DARE