This COVID-19 thing has brought with it certain dynamics in our marriages. For some ladies this is a good time to see and spend time with their hubbies now that they are working from home and with curfew have to be home by 7pm. That means spending more hours together, them getting to be involved with the kids, and having dinner as a family, a rare occurrence these days. But for others it is a nightmare because they have grown used to him not being around so feel that their space is by intruded upon and are wondering what to do with him. How do they relate as they have become strangers with each other.
For most men, this situation has put them in some awkward position. All of a sudden they are at home every evening something they were not used to. Trying to adjust to this new normal isn’t easy for them. This coupled with the fear of being confined at home coupled with the fact that they aren’t sure of their future anymore in terms of their jobs, must be raising their stress levels. So though they may be at home, they are not there (you know what I mean), or are there but not fun to be around.
So to make the most of this crisis, ladies, please try and understand that this could be something new to your man. So be patient with him and make it easier for him to settle down into this new normal. Don’t put a lot of demands on him at once and please let him really feel at home know. Don’t make it look like sasa amepatikana (now we have you where we want) but rather as an opportunity to connect or is it re-connect with him. Give him some space too to go into his cave from time to time as that is important to guys.
For the men, please see it as an opportunity to reconnect with your kids and more importantly their mother. Look for creative ways that you can enjoy time together as a couple. This is the time to resurrect some of those old rituals we had, like taking a walk together in the evening, cooking together, sitting on the verandah and sharing stories of your childhood etc. It may also be an opportunity to start some new ones, who knows, after this thing is over, you might just look back and be thankful for the two of you became one again!
