We recently read about this guy who was selling his
wife for 900,000. That is how much he valued his wife. I remember many years
ago when I went to pay dowry for my wife Grace telling her that she was worth
more than the number of cows her family
demanded that we give them. Fast forward after many years of marriage I have
found that I sometimes don’t treat Grace with such value. It is as if I’m now
willing to sell her at 50% off sale price.
Unfortunately in many marriages, with time we have
this tendency of taking each other and our marriage relationship for granted.
We invest in everything else except our relationship with each other. We can
pay anything for our health, we are quick to see the doctor if we suspect
something wrong with our health but hardly see a Therapist or Counselor when
things are not right in our marriage. We treat other people more importantly
than our spouse. We give them our time and attention, compliment them, spend a
lot on them as men but when it comes to our spouse we are mean. As ladies we
remove our best china cutlery for the Pastor or that honored guest but yet
serve our husband on that ordinary melamine plate. That’s how we take each
other for granted instead of honoring each other.
We honor our stars be they a famous footballer, an
artist, Politician or our Pastor. You should hear people talk about their heroes;
we have posters of them everywhere and even tattoo them on our bodies. You
should see how some Christians treat their Bishops and Pastors as if they were
God Himself. Some of us will even kill you for talking negatively about our Political
Leader. But when it comes to our spouse, we allow them to be roasted by our
families; we treat them as an ordinary “mwanainchi”.
We do this not consciously but unknowingly.
What is honor? According to marriage Counselor Dr.
Gary Smalley, the Greek word for honor means “the amount at which something is
valued.” How much do you value your
spouse? Dr. Gary Smalley goes ahead to say that “Honor is a decision to express high value, worth, and importance on
another person, viewing that person as a priceless gift, and respectively
granting him or her a place in our lives”. Is that how we treat our
spouse? Do you consider him or her as a
priceless gift? Do you grant him or her the highest place in your life? Why
don’t we decide to do that this year? This can be a good New Year’s resolution.
Determine to deliberately treat your spouse and your relationship with them
with honor after all “Marriage should be
honored by all.” (Hebrews 13;4).
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