WHY DON'T WE JUST COMMUNICATE?

Did you know that Infidelity is NOT the leading cause of divorce? Although infidelity is the main cause unmarried couples who are living together split up, married couples often cite being incompatible or unable to communicate as the cause of their divorce. We will talk about incompatibility a little later but let’s start by analyzing why it is that as married couples we are unable to communicate.

What causes this communication breakdown?

TIME – Lack of time is the most common cause of communication breakdown. We are too busy and don’t have time for each other and so slowly by slowly we lose touch. A relationship is as strong as the communication between the two is strong. We need time to catch up, get to know what is really happening in each one’s life and yes to resolve conflict and clear any misunderstandings between us. This cannot happen in our ‘touch and go’ environment, it requires us slowing down, taking time off everything else to reconnect. Communication is what keeps us connected.

RECKLESS WORDS – Sometimes the words we utter when we annoyed or unknowingly are what causes the communication breakdown. Do we just say “I’m sorry you were hurt?” Or consider this one: “I’m sorry if I offended you.” What do these words mean? Are you saying the person shouldn’t have been hurt? Are you saying their hurt wasn’t really justified? Someone can read a lot of things into those reckless words. These words express no ownership of the part you played in your spouse’s pain. In apologizing, state the offense, and take ownership of the hurt you have caused knowingly or unknowingly. Let the offended party know that you never meant to push his or her buttons in that way.

The Bible says in Proverbs 16:24 that “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” 

We will look at the other two causes next week.