Last weekend I attended what we call a Champions weekend. This was an event organized by my Church and was crafted to help us live a victorious life as Champions.
One of the things we dealt with over this past weekend was our past hurts, hurts that begun with sinful acts done against us which have then been compounded by our own reactions to them. These emotional wounds are not necessarily physical, but are wounds to the soul or spirit of man that are carried and experienced within the person themselves. This pain of the past hurt rules many lives. It simmers, stifles, and sometimes shuts a person completely down. Their presence is revealed by their symptoms which can range from outbursts of anger, low self-esteem to being an alcoholic and sexual perversion.
Unfortunately many of us enter into marriage with these hurts and like they say hurting people hurt others, so we end up hurting those closest to us, our spouse and children. We come into marriage with a lot of emotional baggage from our childhood. As one woman put it, “To have a baggage you would have to have a suitcase to put it in. My past was so messed up there was no suitcase; it was more like a pile of trash.”
This woman was raised up in a very painful way. Her Father abandoned her and her mother when she was a very little girl and following her father’s abandonment, her mama started drinking and spending time with boyfriends, who came and went and used not only her mama but pretty Becca too. Her mama couldn’t stay, and her only daughter must not have been worth carrying along. So she was thrown from one relative to another until she grew up and begun living on her own.
Isolation thus became both her protection and punishment and then the ultimate abandonment. She grew up with great anger because of what had happened to her and she found herself not trusting people and fearing that her friends would also abandon her. This greatly affected her relationships and even her marriage couple of years later. She feared being abandoned by her husband as her parents had abandoned her. So because of this fear she always reacted violently that her husband one day took off. Talk of what you feared actually happening to you. Yes her hubby also abandoned her but really because of her own fears, which were driven by her past hurts.
"The memories of our past make up the fabric of who we are."
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