Don't be a Kangaroo; be a student of your Mate

This past Sunday, I (Barnie) read a very interesting article of how the name 'Kangaroo' came to be. When European explorers first saw these strange hopping animals with unusual shape of legs and bulky tail, they asked a native Australian (aborigine), what they were called. He replied 'Kangaroo', meaning, "I don't understand your question". The explorers thought this was the animals name and that's how the kangaroos got their name.

Most of the conflicts we have in marriage are as a result of misunderstandings which arise because of the differences in the language men and women speak. Like the European explorers with the Australian native, we don't seem to understand each other’s language and thus end up relying on translation to decipher the message our partner is sending to us.

Unfortunately, a lot of information is missed and we end up calling it 'Kangaroo', interpreting it in our own language. What is however important is for us to learn our spouse's language in order for us to be able to speak their language and thus understand them.

Because a man's greatest need is the need to be respected, men speak the language of respect. Women on the other hand, as my wife shared last week, have a great need for love. So they speak the language of love. That's why the Bible exhorts husbands to love their wives and for wives to respect their hubbies (Ephesians 5:33). When we do this we will be speaking each other’s language and thus will end up understanding one another.

That's obvious, right? Wrong. The problem with us is that we often want the other person to understand our language without us trying to learn their language. As the Musician sang, "You need to love me the way I need to be loved. Come over here and love me from my side. I will be your student of love and you got to be mine too. We have different needs so understanding is a ministry".

And that is what marriage is all about, the ministry of understanding. So don't be a kangaroo, seek to learn, to understand, to love your mate from his or her side and you will see what difference that will make in your relationship.