We have just come out of a fierce election battle which has left our Nation greatly divided. In 2007/2008, people took to the streets to vent their angers and disappointments in what came to be known as PEV or Post election violence. And because of that, this year there was an overdrive in preaching peace before during and after the elections.
So when the results were announced, the winners celebrated while the losers were disappointed.Nobody took to the streets this time, thank God, and we thought all was well. In deed we kept peace but from the many hate speeches going on in social medias, it is apparent that while external peace was maintained, internal peace is disturbed. We have only suppressed our emotions and are pretending all is well on the outside while seething on the inside.
This is similar to what happens in many marriages. We haven't come across a marriage that doesn't experience strong emotions around certain topics like parenting, sex, extended family and so on. Some couples in the name of keeping peace, habitually avoid these topics and withhold their honest thoughts, feelings and desires. Like Kenyans, we do everything possible "to keep the peace" bottling up all our anger and resentment instead of letting it out in a honorable and respectful way. It is by facing the issues and dealing with them conclusively that we make peace first with our-self then with our spouse.
According to Marriage Coaches, Jeff and Jill Williams, suppression of one's honest thoughts, feelings and desires comes at the price of authentic intimacy, shared understanding and respect for each other's perspective, emotions and desires.It is only through skillful and loving exploration of these issues as we respect each others perspective, emotions and desires, that real and lasting peace is attained.
REMEMBER TO SIGN UP FOR OUR UPCOMING SoMa - School of Marriage that begins next week Wednesday the 27th of March. For more details call Grace on 0729-237766
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