I recently heard this story of this man who had been twice married and divorced. During his stint in both marriages, he had this concubine that he never left even as he left his wives. However absurd this may appear I was left wondering what it is that this concubine did to this man that he couldn’t leave him even as much as he left his two wives. She must have captivated this man in a very strong way.
The word captivating is quiet a strong one. It means the man is held captive, he has no where to go, in other words he is bound there. And in a marriage, this should be a good thing. Your man should be held captive because of what he enjoys, just like a man who is captivated by something he is watching on the screen so much so that he cannot be distracted by anything anyone else. That’s how your love for your man should be. One of the wisest men that ever lived, King Solomon advised his son thus -;
“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth… may you ever be captivated by her love”.
A great way of captivating your man is by giving him great sex. And for this to happen, you need to make it a priority in your marriage and not an after thought. Great sex is important to your man for these two reasons-;
1. It affirms to him that he can sexually satisfy the woman he married. At the core of this is something really manly about it. Try as we might to push aside “manliness” as a relic from days gone by, the truth is that a man wants to feel like a man. Sadly, in the name of feminism and women’s rights, we too often have stripped men of the God-given qualities and characteristics that celebrate their masculinity. Fulfilling sex gives a man confidence. Your desire for him is a bedrock form of support that gives him power to face the rest of his daily life with a sense of confidence and well-being. Dr. Kevin Leman in his book Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage describes this so well-;
“So much of who we are as men is tied up in how our wives respond to us sexually. While this may surprise some of you wives, as a psychologist I believe that every healthy man wants to be his wife’s hero. He may not be the top dog at work, he may not have the fastest or latest car, he may be losing what little looks he had to begin with, his hair may be falling out while his gut is getting bigger, but if his honey loves him enough to occasionally put some scratches on his back in the heat of passion, he will still feel like the king of the world. Why? Because he can please his woman.”
2. Fulfilling sex makes him feel loved and desired. Most men stray away from their spouses for the simple reason that they don’t feel loved and desired in the way they want to. One man’s eloquent plea captured this perfectly: “I wish that my wife understood that making a priority of meeting my intimacy needs is the loudest and clearest way she can say, “You are more important to me than anything else in the world.” It is a form of communication that speaks more forcefully, with less room for misinterpretation, than any other.
Your lack of desire makes your man feel rejected and when a wife rejects her husband’s need for sex, she is rejecting him because his sexual drive is an essential part of who he is. Whoever said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach may have been right but they missed it by a few inches up. And so ladies, if you aren’t “taking care of business at home” a couple times a week, you may be creating your monster.
No comments:
Post a Comment