REAL STUFF REAL PEOPLE

Gracie and I have been privilaged to be guests in the latest radio talk show in town, "The Closet" with Pastor James Okumu every Friday Night from 11pm to 1 am in hope fm. Yes in hope fm where you listen and live, we are discussing things that hitherto have been anathema to talk about in Church leave alone as Christians. But these are real issues that men and women deal with, yes even those who are in the Church, those who are saved.

We have had three shows so far and the response has been overwhelming to say the least. I must thank Jamo and his bosses at hope fm for taking this bold step to address these issues from a Christian perspective unlike the other fm stations that make fun of such pertinent issues in our lives. Gracie and I have come to learn alot in researching for this program and also from the questions asked and feedbacks that we have been getting.

We have been talking about sexual fantasies and my goodness, there are some things that really need to be addressed. There are many men out there struggling with pornography and masturbation. These are born-again Christians who some have prayed and fasted over these issues but to their frustration nothing has changed. They are ashamed of this and have not shared their struggles with anybody as they fear being ridiculed and exposed.

We have come to learn how so protective we are of our images as Christians that even when we have struggles in these areas we don't want to come forward and ask for help. This is compounded on the other side by a judgemental attitude that many in the Church have had towards such victims that they don't find it safe to share their problem and get help. This has stirred our hearts afresh to seek to provide a safe environment where people would come and openly share with us these issues without the fear of rejection.

What we don't realize is that this rejection is what will push many of these dear ones deeper into their quagmires thus making things go from bad to worse and from worse to worst in their lives. So, hey you all that are struggling with these things out there, don't die alone, cry or shout for help and we will be more than willing to help and to walk you through this process to gain your freedom and deliverance. It is possible to be free, to live a pure life once again by the power of the Holy Spirit.

 And you know what, contrary to what we think that this is a singles problem, after all the Bible says if you burn, you better get married, this is very much a marriage problem. If you don't deal with some of these things in your singleness, don't think that marriage will cure your problem. No, it may only aggrevate it. There are many men who are not able to perform in bed because of these hang ups and it has become a concern for their wives. Will be talking about some of these issues in our upcoming blogs.

Monday Morning Blues

On Monday morning my wife received a call from one of her nieces informing her that her mother, who is my wife’s follower, was very sick. The time she received the call I was busy trying to get my week organized even as I was supervising my boys with their school work.  Immediately she hung up, my wife conveyed the same message to me.

I had already overheard the message as I picked their conversation over the phone, so by the time Gracie was relaying that information to me I was already thinking of a solution to the “crisis”. I was already uptight with my own pressing issues and was not about to take any extra load. So when my wife told me this, I didn’t respond due to the turmoil within. She went upstairs and we each continued with our daily chores. I noticed that she wasn’t amused at all by my silence but I was also so focused on my “things” that I failed to notice it.

After having lunch together, my wife confronted me with the issue. She let me know how much disappointed she was with me for my lack of sensitivity and compassion. To her I was at that time worse than an infidel. How can my sister be so sick and this man is just sitting there unmoved she thought to herself. I initially tried to justify myself when confronted by her, but I later did confess that the reason I was quiet was because I was trying to figure out what could be done, in other words trying to come up with a solution.

Therein lies a mistake that us men do often times that makes our wives feel unloved. What my wife wanted that Monday morning after receiving that news wasn’t anything big. To her this was not Rocket science as much as it seemed to me. What she wanted was for me to feel with her, maybe come and put my hands around her, hug her, reassure her that it was going to be okay and then maybe end by praying together with her for her sister. You mean it is that simple, you may ask. Then why didn’t you just do it.

Well I’m not alone in this matter; many men are in the same boat. The mistake us men make is to think that when she shares with you her feelings, she is asking for solutions. So we give advice and in the eventuality that we can’t come up with any, we remain quiet like I did that morning. When we do this she feels unloved because you don’t understand her, you don’t feel her. That’s the lesson I learnt afresh that Monday morning.

"Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way..." - 1 Peter 3:7