LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS

Did you know that jealousy can be a good thing as well as a bad thing? When you see someone else interested in your spouse, you feel jealous isn’t it? There are actually two forms of jealousy: a legitimate jealousy that is based on love, and an illegitimate jealousy based upon envy.

Just this morning I read in the newspapers about this man in Kisumu who killed his wife’s lover when he found them in the act. Now however bad killing someone is, but he must have reacted that way because he loved his wife and wasn’t ready to share her with someone else. A woman might be jealous of a man’s relatives, his career, hobbies because she feels these things are taking precedence over her in the relationship. The Bible describes God as having this kind of righteous jealousy for His people. He is a jealous God, He wants us only for Himself. And in marriage, we should be jealous for each other because we want our spouse only for ourselves.

On the other hand, the other type of jealousy that is based on envy is bad. You are envious of your spouse’s achievements or attributes. You don’t want your spouse to succeed in something because they will be more popular than you, or because you wanted them to go with your idea but when they insisted on theirs and it succeeded, you became jealous. Things are working well for him/her, they have recently been promoted, they are flying high in their career and nothing seems to be working out for you. So you become jealous of your spouse and instead of being their number one fan, you start criticizing and attacking them because you are envious of them. You are jealous, why? Because you are selfish or insecure in who you are. Instead of complimenting and congratulating each other, you start competing with each other as husband and wife.

Do you struggle with being jealous with your spouse? Is your jealousy legitimate or illegitimate? If it is illegitimate, then you need to find out why? Why are you jealous of him or her? What are you going to do not to be jealous of them? Why don’t you embark on being each other’s fan club or as we say here mafans. Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and reject any thoughts of jealousy.