Wednesday, July 8, 2020
Marriage Spice: LADIES ARE YOU GIVING FAR MORE THAN YOU ARE RECEIV...
Marriage Spice: LADIES ARE YOU GIVING FAR MORE THAN YOU ARE RECEIV...: In working with many ladies in relationships, we find ourselves wondering why they seem to act desperate or needy in those relationships. ...
LADIES ARE YOU GIVING FAR MORE THAN YOU ARE RECEIVING?
In working with many ladies in relationships, we find ourselves wondering why they seem to act desperate or needy in those relationships. Even for some of those married ladies struggling in their marriages, looking back they realize some of the mistakes they made while dating that have led them to where they are now. You see ladies get married hoping that the guy will change, so they bend backwards to accommodate him and allow certain things to happen that later on come to haunt them. What they don't realize is that contrary to what they think or hope for, guys tend to remain the same if not get worse after saying "I Do".
So to help those ladies that are currently in a dating avoid such pitfalls, we are asking you to do this quiz to check if you are giving far more than you are receiving in your dating relationship.
1. Do you feel guilty when you say no, or do you say no and
then second-guess yourself?
2. Do you often try
to tell your partner that you want to be treated with respect?
3. Do you find yourself bartering or negotiating for what
you want or need?
4. Do you often pass up sleep or the need for personal time
to meet his needs?
5. Do you regularly see him on short notice or when it is
convenient for him?
6. Do you find that you repeat what you’ve asked for as
though he didn’t hear it the first time?
7. After a fight, are
you always the first one to contact him or apologize?
8. Do you find you are much more doting and affectionate
than he is?
9. Do you often feel depleted after being with him?
10. Do you constantly want more attention or reassurance?
If you’ve answered
yes to five or more of these ten questions, you are most likely giving far more than you
are receiving in your relationship.
Friday, July 3, 2020
SHOULD LADIES ALSO PURSUE GUYS?
I've been reading this week the book of Ruth, a small book in the Bible, just 4 Chapters nestled between Judges and 1 Samuel. This is an interesting story of a widow's love for her mother-in-law and eventually for the man she gets remarried to. The interesting thing in this fabulous story is the way Ruth with Naomi's great coaching, plays her cards so well to woo the most eligible Bachelor in town, Boaz to marry her.
"Can a woman also pursue a guy now that guys are not saying something?" is a question we are so often confronted with. This is a very dicey question that needs to be urgently addressed, especially in this day and age where many single ladies are wondering where the men are or what happened to the men. In Ruth's story Boaz notices her as she works in his farm and even inquires about her. But for some reason like our men today, Boaz is slow, he seems not to be saying or doing something about it. Ruth on the other hand wiggles her way into Boaz's heart and makes him pursue her eventually. The pursued becomes the pursuer when Boaz goes the whole hog to marry Ruth.
What caught Boaz's attention? Long before noticing Ruth, Boaz had heard a lot about her. She was the talk of the town because of how she stuck with her mother-in-law even after her husband's death. Her level of commitment was evident. That talks of character. Ladies it is your character that makes you attractive to a man more than even your beauty. Ladies what is your reputation at the office, in your neighborhood or even in Church? Secondly, Ruth was hanging around where Boaz was. Ladies are you hanging around the guy you want or you don't even have a clue on what his hobbies and interests are. How do you think he will notice you if you don't hang around his whereabouts? Thirdly, Ruth had a special relationship that helped and guided her in getting Boaz. Naomi was her coach. Ladies do you have someone who is coaching you on how to get "Mr. Right"?
The third point is so vital because so many ladies make major blunders in their pursuit for their "Boaz". They become a doormat, doing every wrong thing to try to please and keep their guy. Instead of making the guy turn around and pursue them, they make him flee. They are aggressive, push the guy to commit to marriage and that scares away many men. They don't patiently play their cards well. They openly show their emotions too soon and even think by giving him sex they will get him hooked. In the process of pursuing their Boaz, they push him away instead of pulling him in.
So to answer the million dollar question, the answer is yes, a lady can pursue a man but it's only in how she does it that matters. It requires a very delicate balance, like walking the tightrope and this is why it is so important to engage a "Naomi", a coaching relationship that will help you get your Boaz and thus fulfill your dream.
"Can a woman also pursue a guy now that guys are not saying something?" is a question we are so often confronted with. This is a very dicey question that needs to be urgently addressed, especially in this day and age where many single ladies are wondering where the men are or what happened to the men. In Ruth's story Boaz notices her as she works in his farm and even inquires about her. But for some reason like our men today, Boaz is slow, he seems not to be saying or doing something about it. Ruth on the other hand wiggles her way into Boaz's heart and makes him pursue her eventually. The pursued becomes the pursuer when Boaz goes the whole hog to marry Ruth.
What caught Boaz's attention? Long before noticing Ruth, Boaz had heard a lot about her. She was the talk of the town because of how she stuck with her mother-in-law even after her husband's death. Her level of commitment was evident. That talks of character. Ladies it is your character that makes you attractive to a man more than even your beauty. Ladies what is your reputation at the office, in your neighborhood or even in Church? Secondly, Ruth was hanging around where Boaz was. Ladies are you hanging around the guy you want or you don't even have a clue on what his hobbies and interests are. How do you think he will notice you if you don't hang around his whereabouts? Thirdly, Ruth had a special relationship that helped and guided her in getting Boaz. Naomi was her coach. Ladies do you have someone who is coaching you on how to get "Mr. Right"?
The third point is so vital because so many ladies make major blunders in their pursuit for their "Boaz". They become a doormat, doing every wrong thing to try to please and keep their guy. Instead of making the guy turn around and pursue them, they make him flee. They are aggressive, push the guy to commit to marriage and that scares away many men. They don't patiently play their cards well. They openly show their emotions too soon and even think by giving him sex they will get him hooked. In the process of pursuing their Boaz, they push him away instead of pulling him in.
So to answer the million dollar question, the answer is yes, a lady can pursue a man but it's only in how she does it that matters. It requires a very delicate balance, like walking the tightrope and this is why it is so important to engage a "Naomi", a coaching relationship that will help you get your Boaz and thus fulfill your dream.
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