HOW DO YOU VALUE YOURSELF?

I recently read a post in my LinkedIn page about this Father who gifted her daughter his old wreck of a car to go and sell to start her life. She took the car to a nearby yard and the people there agreed to buy it for $1,000. She then took it to one of her friends who valued it for only $100. Almost giving up, she took it to the boys club and there one of the guys looked at the car, a serious brand though old, and offered her $100,000 for it. When she came back excited with the offer, her Dad told her something profound.

“My daughter, there are people who will value you for only $100, others will value you for $1,000 while there are those who will value you for $100,000, go where you are valued not where people just put up with you.”

That’s a very powerful life lesson. I have seen people who don’t know how much their value is allow themselves to be treated like trash be it at the workplace or in relationships. They fear standing up for themselves lest they lose their job or their relationship. Especially our single ladies, who endure toxic relationships where they are abused mentally and emotionally, sometimes even physically. Yet stick in that relationship for fear of starting all over again or of maintaining status. They don’t want to be seen to be single, OR want so badly to get married that they even go ahead and get married only to live miserably thereafter.

Last week in our blog, we talked about the person you really need to get married to. That person is yourself. Ladies if you don’t value yourself, how do you think someone else will? What we have come to observe in our over 15 years’ experience working with people in their relationships is the way most ladies cheapen themselves just to be in or to remain in a relationship. They feel that a relationship is what gives them value. And so no matter how badly they are treated on those relationships, they remain stuck there. What you desperately need single lady, is to rediscover your value. Because just like that car, it is only those people who really knew its value that were willing to pay the price for it.

Single lady, a guy who does not pursue you, doesn’t call you or just texts you when they want to take you for a date or you go to their place to wash his clothes, don’t value you. A guy who is non-committal, keeps you in suspense and is saying nothing does not value you. A guy who is shy to introduce you to his friends or family, doesn’t value you. You need to know your value and go only where you are valued not where you are just tolerated!

THE PERSON YOU REALLY NEED TO MARRY

There are many single people out there who keep telling us that they are "single and searching". What they are all searching for is the right guy or right chick to become an item with. I recently watched a very interesting TedTalk by one Tracy McMillan, in which she talks about "The Person you really need to marry" I thought this would be a good title for a blog as this would easily be a hook for all those who are single and searching.

Listening to the wisdom and experience of someone who has been thrice married, I thought we could glean a few lessons from her so as not to repeat the same mistakes. Could it be that we are marrying the wrong person or are getting married for the wrong reasons? The answer is both. Why do I say that? I recently heard a very popular Lady in this Nation sharing what she had learned from her two failed relationships that left her with two children from the two men. This is what she had to say, "I realized that I was attracting the same kind of people". So as much as she alluded to the fact that the two guys were the wrong type, she also unknowingly revealed that there was something wrong with her to have twice attracted these wrong types.

Back to Tracy, she talks about how her mother was a prostitute and her Dad a drug pusher who spent most of his life in prison. As a result Tracy spent most of her life in 24 Foster homes and the thing she message she came out of this mess was "I don't want to be left alone". This drove her to get married at an early age of 17. After three years she realized that she was getting married for the wrong reasons. Are there any painful experiences from your past? What message about yourself did these experiences or relationships leave you with?

What Tracy discovered, and we have also discovered having worked with about 500 couples is that the most important person to enter into a relationship with is yourself. You need to relate well with you. Most of us have been running away from the real us all our lives and don't really know who we really are. We don't love ourselves because of what we did or was done to us. We haven't forgiven ourselves for our past mistakes. We are messed up and are looking for somebody to fill up our hole. Somebody once said that it is only one whole person plus one whole person that makes the two become one. When an emotionally hurt and messed up individual joins with another, the two become a hole and a deep one for that. And sadly that is where many of us are finding ourselves in relationships and even in marriage too.

When you find yourself not desperate of  whether he likes you or not when you are out in a date but feel good about yourself then you are on the right path. If you are trying to get security or a sense of identity from a relationship, then you are not really the person another needs to marry. If you are waiting to hear the words "I love you" or "you are valuable" from someone else, then you are not ready for marriage. If you are thinking that someone else will make you whole then you are missing it. If you are asking yourself whether he or she is Mr. or Mrs. right or not, you are asking the wrong question. What you need to ask yourself is whether or not you are the right person for them. You need to look in the mirror, you need to first relate well with you before you venture out in search of relating well with others.

DO YOU WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP?

Our ability to interact effectively with people may be the difference between success or failure both at a personal level and professionally. Effective interaction, like charity begins at home, it begins with you, and it begins with an accurate perception of ourselves. Over the years you have built your self-perception on information received from others, but now you can get a true reflection of yourself through a scientifically proven report.

We at Two Ships Solutions in partnership with TTI (Target Training International) Success Insights of South Africa are happy to announce to you that we are offering a Relationship Insights with a Comparison report that is great especially for Married Couples. This Relationship Insights report was designed to quantify information on how you see yourself. How you use this information will be directly related to your success in significantly improving your personal relationships.


This report will help you identify key areas for improving interpersonal relationships like

·        Your current wants, people are motivated and influenced by the things they want,

·         What you need to relate more effectively with others and especially your spouse

·         The specific talents and behaviors that you bring to a personal relationship,

·         How you like others to communicate with you and the communication skills you need to develop

·         Possible hindering factors with regards to relationships.

We have been offering this comprehensive reports with a debriefing session at $150 per couple and $100 per individual, but are now offering it at a special COVID-19 discount of only $50 (Kshs. 5,000/=) per couple and $30 (Kshs. 3,000/=).


This offer is only till 30^th June 2020 so hurry and get you and yours report before this deadline!



For more information

Contact us at +254 – 733 55 44 93

Email address: - barnieachoki@gmail.com or info@twoships.com