IF I COULD DO IT ALL AGAIN

 John Dresser wrote a book titled, "If I Could Do It All Again." In it he shares 8 things that he would do differently if he could go through his years of being a father all over again. Here is what he wrote:

1. "First of all, if I could do it all over again, I would love my wife more, because by loving my children's mother more, I would create an environment of security in our home. Our love would be something they could see something they would never have to worry about."

2. "Second, I would laugh more. I would relax & enjoy my children & laugh at their antics. I would spend more time with them & enjoy being a father."

3. "Third, I would present a more realistic model for my children to follow. I would be honest with them about myself. I would let them know that I had problems in school, too, that I stumbled, & made mistakes, & failed.

"I would let them know that I understand, & that they can come to me when they fail, because I have been there as well."

4. "Fourth, I would listen to what they say. I would listen to their pains & problems & worries & concerns. I would listen when they wanted to talk to me, because now I realize that if I listen to them when they are small, & to their little problems, then when they are big, & have big problems, they will still come & talk with me."

5. "Fifth, I would stop praying so much for my family because a father's prayers so often sound something like this, 'God, make my son & daughter good people. Help them to succeed in school. Help them to find the right person to marry. Take care of & protect them.'

"Instead, I would start praying more for myself, that I might be the right kind of father, realizing that when I become the right kind of father, my children will probably be the right kind of children."

6. "Sixth, I would pay more attention to little things. I would begin to appreciate the touch of love & the word of encouragement. So many times we fathers are quick to criticize their failures, & so slow to praise & encourage them when they do something right."

7. "Seventh, I would create an environment of belonging. I would want my children to know that they belong, & that they are important family members, because I realize that there are going to be people saying to them, 'Join this & join that.' But if they have a solid identity in the home & in the family they will not easily be led astray."

8. "Last, but certainly not least, I would make God an intimate friend of my family. I would use His name freely. I would communicate to them that He is involved in all our family decisions. I would want them to see me pray & read God's Word & search for His direction & leadership." So wrote John Dresser.

Folks, if I had my life to live over again, I think I would try very seriously to improve in those 8 areas, too.

MY WIFE AND I ARE BACK TOGETHER

You must have read the title and wondered when my wife Grace and I separated. My wife Grace has been away for three weeks. She led a team of Kenyan Students to the International Students Convention in the US.

Before she left I was wondering how I would survive with my three children but I can gladly report that I survived to tell the story. The past three weeks I have been what they call FAMY or KANU (Baba na Mama). I have had to rediscover my culinary skills and how to manage a household especially kitchen matters. This is the first time in a long while that Grace has been away alone as mostly we travel together with her or it’s me who is away. I have really learned a lot during this past three weeks.

The first lesson has been to appreciate my wife. As a man I realized that I have often times underestimated the importance of my wife’s role in the family. I have sometimes wondered why she sometimes complains a lot that she is tired. Managing those three kids, knowing what they are going to eat, homeschooling them and making sure that we have enough groceries in the house is quite something. So I’m coming out of this season of my life with awe of my wife. You see the more you stay together as a couple, the more likely you are to take each other for granted. I have taken my wife and her role in the house for granted and it is my prayer that hence forth I will constantly remember to appreciate her always.

The second lesson I have learned is the importance of connecting with my kids. Often times my wife has been there for them as a stay-at-home mum while I have been busy away trying hard to provide for them. But this past three weeks I have spent literally everyday with them and have enjoyed reconnecting with them. We have worked together, played together, and shared lots of stories together. We have become friends and this has been so fulfilling to me as much as they have also stressed me out a bit. I must say now that my relationship with my children is somewhere up there.

Lastly, I confirmed that the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is on point. My feelings for my wife have intensified and I must confess I have fallen in love with her yet again. In fact today as I write this I have declared a personal holiday so that I can just hang-out with her. Today I will celebrate my love for her!