Our car has recently been in the garage and this I think has
been one of the longest times it has stayed there. I drive an old Honda Odyssey
which I must confess has served me well in the last almost 7 years. Parting
with it is not easy for various reasons. Apart from the sentimental attachment
we as a Family have for it, we love the big space inside with enough legroom,
it is also high enough so you don’t have to look like you are squatting on the
road, more than that I know that I cannot get its value’s worth in the Kenyan
Toyota crazy market.
During this time that our car has been “sick” I have
contemplated selling it even though I knew I won’t get enough money to buy a
descent car. So I have been tempted to sell it and buy another junk with the
little money I get hoping that it will be a more fuel efficient car which may
just serve us well. But as I have toyed around with this idea, I have been reminded
of a saying that goes like this “Better the devil you know than the angel
you don’t know”. That shook some sense in me and made me stick to my
Red “devil” that I know.
You may be wondering what my car has got to do with marriage.
What is the moral of this story? Having worked with many couples and
relationships, Grace and I have come to identify two great potential killers of
every marriage relationship. One is
taking each other for granted and the other is comparing our spouse with
someone else.
These two weeks without a car has made me realize a new how useful
my car is to us as a family however old it is and so I have come to appreciate it
more than ever before. The same can be said of your spouse, we normally take
each other for granted to the point that we fail to appreciate each other bickering
and complaining a lot about each other instead. We forget how valuable we are
to each other. You ask the man or woman who has lost their spouse
and they will tell you how much they wish they had appreciated them more or how
much they miss them.
The second killer of marriages is comparing our spouse to
another man or woman. During this time when my car has been down, I have
borrowed several cars and all of them in some ways felt better than my car. But
you know what? They were not mine plus I only had them for a season probably when
they were at their best. Whenever you compare your spouse to another man or
woman they will fall short because you know them in and out. As for the other
man or woman, you just know them out, maybe it his six-pack or her shapely body
that you see. But you don’t really know them inside. That’s where the saying “better
the devil (now please don’t call your spouse this devil) you know than the
angel you don’t comes in handy. Do you know that even he/she (meaning your
spouse) also looked handsome or gorgeous once upon a time?
And do you know what? You can make them look like that once
again. You ask me how? By going back to the number one killer, not taking them
for granted but start counting your blessing one by one. Focus on their
positives not just negatives, count them one by one, appreciate them for those
positives and you will be surprised at what God will do in your relationship. I’m
beginning to appreciate my car afresh and oh yes my wife too!
