Who said sexual fulfillment was a preserve of the husband only?

According to our African traditions, sexual enjoyment was a preserve of the men folk and the part of the woman was to make sure that they satisfied their man’s desire. Older women in preparing younger women for marriage would focus on training them on how well they would satisfy their men in terms of their kitchen skills and bedroom skills. The way to keep a man happy was to feed him well both in the stomach and sexually.

What many women fail to recognize is that sex is something to be enjoyed by both the husband and the wife. The Bible says that it is supposed to be for mutual satisfaction. Women too need to enjoy this gift. Failure to recognize that fact has led many married women to resent sex and see it more as a duty than as something to look forward to no wonder the fake headaches at night.

According to Sex Therapist Debra Taylor, although 80 percent couples report that the husband wants sex more than his wife, this may be a skewed number – partly because of the way we define sexual desire. Most of us typically think of sexual desire as a hunger for sex – often with sexual fantasies- that prompts us to initiate sex. It turns out however, that most women experience a receptive type of sexual desire as opposed to the proactive type which men experience.”

She goes on to state that, “Research confirms that for many women desire is “triggered” by thoughts and emotions arising during sexual excitement, not before. Many women have commented to us, “I enjoy sex once we’re 10-15 minutes into foreplay, and I think Wow! We should do this more often!”

 It is therefore imperative that we recognize that sex is not just for the men but for mutual satisfaction. Women too can and should enjoy sex.