ARE YOU SERVING YOUR SPOUSE "LEFTOVERS"?

Nobody likes to eat “leftovers”, we all love and look forward to that freshly made ugali or those hot chapos from the pan. But unfortunately in marriage, we usually serve each other leftovers. What do I mean by that? Now I'm not talking about real food here but how we treat each other as husband and wife.

We so often give our employer, our Church fellowship and the boys or girls our best time and energies reserving very little or no energy for our spouse. As husbands by the time we get home we are totally zoned out that we cannot engage our wives in any meaningful conversation. Wives on the other hand can give themselves to others, the visitors who came calling or the children, that by the time they are going to bed they are totally maxed out giving their hubbies a raw deal in bed.

According to Dave Willis author of the 12 habits that lead to Divorce, “Some couples have what I call a “cable company marriage.” Have you ever noticed how Cable TV companies seem to give you their very best deals and service at the beginning of the relationship but then after the “introductory period” ends, they give you as little as possible to still keep you around? Some married couples were great at giving their best at the beginning of the relationship, but as time goes on, they start giving the leftovers."

As married couples, why don’t we strive to keep giving our best to each other even beyond this Valentine period. Let’s come up with creative ideas that will keep the fire burning in our marriages (in fact let us hear some ideas from you that might help us and other couples keep the fire burning). Then let's be deliberate in ensuring that each day or week or month we implement those ideas in our marriage. Remember that it is important those things be focused on your spouse, what they love and find exciting? What they have wished for or are yearning for.

Let us go back to our first love, remember that first date, that first kiss, how you used to go out together, how sex was something you looked forward to. May we develop a habit of preparing a fresh meal for each other and quit giving each other leftovers this month.