HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR ANGER

Anger per se is not bad, how we handle it is what makes it either constructive or destructive. Unfortunately many of us have not learned how to handle this emotion and thus the mess we find ourselves and our relations in. Another wrong perception that we have of anger is that our anger is someone else’s fault, especially that of our spouse. We want to blame them for the way we feel and react.

 I’m reminded of The Incredible Hulk who would always make this statement before turning into that huge green monster, “Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like to see me when I’m angry.” The lie is that nobody can make you angry, but the truth is that you allow yourself to be angry. So take control of your anger before it takes control of you and you might as well save your marriage.

How do you take control of your anger-;

1.  Start by keeping an anger journal or diary recording every episode of anger each day. 
2.  Identify what provokes you to anger. What are the triggers? When are you most susceptible to get angry? Is it when you are tired, hungry, stressed, or any other situation? 
3.  When you are provoked, what goes on in your mind? What do you tell yourself in those moments? For example, “He didn’t go out with me because I am not beautiful”. That can only be true if that is what you think of yourself. Which is really as much your problem not theirs and so you need to deal with that belief. Our belief system greatly affects how we feel about ourselves and to an extent how we behave. Change your belief system and you will change how you feel about yourself and it will not matter what anybody else thinks about you. 
4.   Change your self-instruction. Did you know that we frequently give ourselves instructions? We can learn to stop giving ourselves the internal okay to become angry by giving ourselves different instructions.