Yes I Do, Did I?

I Barnie says...

Early this week, early Monday morning to be precise, my wife and I were woken up by the sad news of the tragic death of one of the world's greatest marathon champions and Olympic marathon winner Samuel Kamau Wanjiru, who died at the tender age of 24. What was so sad about this death was the circumstances that led to it and the skeletons that are coming out of the wardrobe, or should I say coffin. Here was a promising young man with a great future ahead of him but who through careless living ended his life prematurely. The skeletons that came out were mainly in regard to Wanjiru's marriage. "Wanjiru's death shows something is terribly wrong with marriages" was the heading in the TALKING POINT  section of the Daily Nation dated Tuesday May 17th.

Marriage seems to be underseige when you read and here such comments, but truth be told, it is something that calls for a fresh look at what we are getting into when we enter marriage. Early this month Grace and I began sharing on Hope FM on the importance of preparing ourselves for marriage. I have noted of late the influence of the wedding show on Citizen TV (let's not even talk about the Royal Wedding), on many young people intending to get married. A lot of focus is being put on the wedding day itself and I'm left wondering what measures are being taken to prepare the couples for the marriage itself. Remember, the wedding is just an event, as a matter of fact, a few hours event, but marriage is for life, it's for a lifetime so you better prepare well for it. People who get caught up in their emotions and the wedding plans without asking themselves some tough, or rather sober questions end up wondering if they really did say "I DO" several years or even months after they do.

 I remember several years ago while taking a couple through premarital counselling, the husband to be was busy running is hand over the lady's hair evidently caught up with his fiancee's beauty, even as I labored to pour my heart to them. Sad to say that today they are no longer together. What happened? As a man are you looking beyond the outer beauty into the inner beauty or are you just mesmerized with the external, how fair she is, her shape, her lovely eyes. Nothing wrong with that obviously, my wife had all that plus a wonderful voice to go with it. But there have been times those eyes have not been as lovely as they were red, that voice has not been as wonderful as it has been worryful, and the shape may no longer be that figure 8 although she's trying her best. But you know what, that has not changed the person I married, neither should it change my promise to her. Yes even in those difficult times when I wonder if I did, I'm reminded of what I said and what I have helped many others say, "I DO".You have only one of two choices to make, to remember your moment of "I DO" and to swallow hard and forge ahead in your marriage, or to take what I call the easier option and say "I Didn't" and walk out. The latter leads to Death, yes divorce is a kind of death, and with it you end up being a statistic like Wanjiru, while the former leads to yes, a legacy for your sons and daughters, for the generation to come.

And so for you who have not yet said "I DO", think twice before you say it, make sure you know what you are getting yourself into and ask yourself, is this what I really want? Can I handle this (marriage)? Do I have what it takes? Am I willing to make the necessary sacrifices? Am I ready to make that commitment "Forsaking all others, keep myself only for thee"?  And If you have already said "I DO", are you wondering if you did? Well it's too late for you now, but you know what! you can change the only thing that is in your power to change, and that is yourself. Remember your "I DO" and make the right choice to continue in your "I DO" and you will not end up like Wanjiru, Omondi, your Dad, or whoever else that is part of this bad statistics.

NB. Thanks to all You our fans who have been listening to us on Hope FM this month, you have been a great source of encouragement to us. Keep listening and you and your marriage (for you singles your future marriage) will surely live.